After the Video Stops: Helping the Bullied Child Heal in Nigeria's Schools

In March 2026, Nigeria was confronted with disturbing videos of older boarders physically attacking younger pupils at two private schools. The footage from Igbinedion Education Centre in Benin City was new, while the footage from Lead British International School in Abuja was from an earlier incident and had begun circulating again. The public reaction was understandably strong. Parents wanted answers, schools were under pressure, and there were serious questions about whether their anti-bullying policies and reporting systems were actually working.

I have written about these incidents from different angles: the schools, the parents, the older pupils, the children who watched and those who filmed. But there is one person I keep coming back to, and that is the child who was hurt.

It is easy for public attention to focus on the video, the school management's response and the punishment given to those responsible. These are important matters, but there is another question we must not lose sight of. What happens to the child after everyone else has moved on? I want to focus on that child, because dealing with bullying cannot end when a video disappears from social media or when a school issues a statement. The real work often begins afterwards.

What the camera caught, and what it could not

Channels Television reported that "In the footage circulating on social media, two students were seen repeatedly beating, kicking and dragging a boy". It also reported that "another student, believed to be recording the video, pleaded with the attackers to stop."

The footage showed us what happened physically. We could see the violence, the fear and the failure of those around the child to intervene effectively. But a video cannot tell us what happens inside that child in the weeks and months that follow. It cannot show us the anxiety, the loss of confidence, the difficulty sleeping or the fear of returning to a place where the child is supposed to feel safe. Much of this happens quietly. It happens at home, in a new classroom, during conversations with friends and sometimes in the middle of the night.

The school appeared to recognise the seriousness of the situation. In its statement to Vanguard, the management wrote: "Our priority remains the safety, dignity, and wellbeing of every student." It added: "We are providing support to those affected and are working closely with their families to ensure the matter is addressed with the seriousness it deserves."

These are the right things to say, and I would expect any school in this situation to make the welfare of the children its priority. However, as an educator, I would want to know what happens beyond the initial response. What does this support look like six months later? Who is checking on the child? Is there a proper recovery plan? Has the school remained in contact with the family? Most importantly, does the child feel safe again? A statement is a starting point, not evidence that a child has recovered.

The wounds we do not see

Dr. Charles Umeh, a clinical psychologist at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital, explained to The Sun some of the psychological effects of bullying. "The emotional effect that comes with bullying is that most victims develop low self-esteem," he said. "They start believing some negative things said about them and start acting on it."

This is particularly concerning for children because they are still developing their sense of identity and their understanding of themselves. When other children repeatedly humiliate, intimidate or hurt them, they may begin to believe that there is something wrong with them.

Dr. Umeh described children who "look very nervous, feel unsafe, and feel so afraid even in the midst of others." He also warned that "They will start having nightmares and noticing changes in appetite as well."

These are signs that parents and teachers should take seriously. A child who suddenly becomes withdrawn, anxious or reluctant to participate in activities may be communicating distress, even when they cannot explain what is happening.

The impact also reaches into the classroom. According to Dr. Umeh, "bullied children do not do well academically or as well as they ought to have done due to poor concentration because they are under threat and fear in all situations." This makes sense. A child who is worried about being attacked, laughed at or humiliated is unlikely to give their full attention to a lesson. Learning requires a sense of security. It is difficult to concentrate when you are constantly looking over your shoulder.

Friendships can become difficult too. "They find it difficult trusting others," he said. I have seen how important trust is in a child's education. Children need to feel that they can make friends, ask questions, take part in activities and make mistakes without being ridiculed. When bullying damages that trust, it can affect much more than a child's experience of school.

The effects can continue into adulthood. "On a long-term basis, people who are bullied suffer from low self-esteem and low confidence," Dr. Umeh said. The sociologist Ebenezer Demilade agreed: "Victims often suffer long-term trauma, including anxiety and depression." The psychologist Tunde Ogunsakin added that "victims often feel helpless and isolated."

When I read these accounts, I think about the children I have taught who suddenly became quiet or stopped participating in activities they once enjoyed. Sometimes adults assume that a child is simply going through a phase, becoming difficult or losing interest. Sometimes there is something much deeper happening. We need to become better at noticing these changes and, more importantly, asking the right questions.

The family is hurt too

There is another part of Dr. Umeh's interview that I think deserves more attention. "Trauma is not only when one is a victim," he said. He explained that parents can "feel guilty and self-blame that they could not protect their child" and that this can lead to "some parents becoming overprotective, which deprives a child of normal development."

I understand why parents react this way. When you discover that your child has been hurt, particularly in a place where you trusted adults to look after them, your first instinct is to protect them from anything that might cause further harm. You may want to keep them close, withdraw them from activities or make every decision on their behalf. You may also question yourself and wonder whether there was something you missed or something you should have done differently.

But healing is not simply about keeping a child away from anything that might be difficult. It is also about helping them regain their confidence and gradually return to the ordinary experiences of childhood. That means rebuilding friendships, taking part in sport, enjoying laughter and learning to trust other people again. It means allowing children to grow without making them feel that the world is permanently unsafe.

This is not always easy, and parents should not be expected to manage it alone. They need guidance, reassurance and access to appropriate support. A school that has failed to protect a child should also recognise its responsibility to support the family through the recovery process.

What healing needs

One thing I have learnt from working in education is that there is rarely a quick solution to a problem that has affected a child's emotional wellbeing. Healing takes time, consistency and adults who are prepared to stay involved. It is not achieved simply by having one conversation, offering an apology or transferring the child to another school. These actions may form part of the response, but they do not automatically restore a child's sense of safety. There are several things I believe schools and families need to get right.

Counselling and continued support

Dr. Umeh was clear: "There must be room for counselling and support." I agree. Every school, particularly one with boarding facilities, should have access to a properly trained counsellor whom pupils can approach privately and without fear of being judged.

For a child who has experienced bullying, support should not end after the first few days. The school needs to arrange regular check-ins and assess how the child is coping over time. Some children may need more specialised psychological support, and schools should be prepared to help families access it. We must also remember that counselling should never become another way of making the child feel that they are the problem. The responsibility for the bullying belongs to those who carried it out and to the systems that failed to prevent it.

Open communication at home

Ogunsakin said, "Parents must also be involved, creating open communication channels with their children." This is something I encourage parents to practise whether or not their child has experienced bullying. Children need to know that home is a place where they can speak honestly without immediately being blamed, questioned or lectured.

Parents can begin with simple questions about how their child is sleeping, whether they are eating properly, how they feel about their friendships and whether anything at school is worrying them. Listening is often more important than having an immediate answer. A child may not be ready to explain everything at once. We need to give them the time and reassurance to speak when they are ready.

The child's voice must be heard

Dr. Umeh said, "All solutions introduced must involve input from students." I think this is particularly important. Adults sometimes make decisions about children's safety without asking the children themselves what they need.

A child who has experienced bullying should have a say in the arrangements made to help them feel safe. They may have concerns about where they sleep in the boarding house, who they share a room with, which adults they trust or how they will manage if they encounter the pupils involved again. We should not assume that we know what will make a child feel safe simply because we are adults. We need to listen and involve them in decisions that affect their daily lives.

A reporting system children can trust

There is little value in telling children to report bullying if they believe that speaking up will make things worse. At a national dialogue in Abuja in April, NAPTIP's representative said that "youths should be equipped with the tools to identify, resist, and report bullying." THISDAY reported that she urged schools to allow students to report incidents without fear of retaliation and warned that silence deepens trauma for victims. The Behavioural Change Communication expert Ayotola Ilori also urged students to break the culture of silence and speak up.

These are important messages, but schools must do more than encourage children to report. They must demonstrate that reporting leads to appropriate action and that the child who speaks up will be protected. Children need confidential reporting channels, adults who take complaints seriously and clear procedures for dealing with incidents. They also need to know that they will not be blamed for what happened to them.

Why this matters beyond one school

It would be a mistake to look at the incidents in Benin City and Abuja as isolated cases or simply as problems affecting a handful of private schools. At the same Abuja dialogue, Dr. Margaret Ebubedike of the Open University said, "Nigeria's situation appears even more severe. More than half of secondary school students report experiencing bullying." She added: "This is not a marginal issue. It is a systemic challenge affecting education quality and youth development."

That is a sobering observation. If such a large proportion of secondary school pupils are experiencing bullying, we need to look carefully at the culture within our schools, the way adults respond to complaints and the extent to which children feel protected.

The NDLEA also spoke at the dialogue, warning that children who have been hurt may look for harmful ways to cope. Its chairman, represented at the dialogue, said: "Protecting children from bullying also means protecting them from pathways that may lead to drug abuse and other harmful behaviours." He added, "Safer schools foster healthier minds, stronger values, and more resilient communities." This reminds us that bullying is not simply a matter of pupils falling out or having disagreements. It can affect children's emotional health, their academic progress, their relationships and their decisions as they grow older.

Ebubedike's conclusion is one I would want every school owner, teacher and parent to take seriously: "Tackling bullying requires a collective response involving parents, educators, policymakers, and communities." I agree. No single school department or individual can address this challenge alone. We need families, teachers, school leaders, counsellors and policymakers working together, with the child's welfare at the centre of every decision.

What I would ask of schools

If I were advising a school that had experienced a serious bullying incident, I would ask it to think beyond the immediate disciplinary response. Punishment may be necessary, but it is not the same as protecting and supporting the child who has been hurt.

First, I would ask the school to have a recovery plan, not just a punishment plan. Expelling or suspending the pupils responsible for the violence may be part of the school's response, but it does not tell us what is being done to help the victim recover. There should be a clear plan for emotional support, academic assistance, safeguarding and regular follow-up.

Second, I would want every affected child to have a named adult responsible for checking on their welfare. Children should know exactly who they can approach when they feel worried or unsafe. That adult should make regular contact, rather than waiting for the child to ask for help. This is especially important in boarding schools, where children spend much of their time away from their families.

Third, I would expect the school to work closely with the family. Parents should understand what steps are being taken, how their child's progress is being monitored and what further support may be needed. Schools should also recognise that parents may be struggling emotionally and help them find appropriate support.

Fourth, I would insist that the whole school community learns from what has happened. Bullying prevention cannot be reduced to an assembly after an incident or a warning in the school handbook. Children need to learn about respect, empathy, responsibility and how to manage disagreements without hurting others. Demilade put it simply: "We need to teach children conflict resolution skills and empathy from a young age". I would add that adults need to model these behaviours too. Children pay attention to how teachers, parents and school leaders treat one another. A respectful school culture is built through everyday actions, not simply through policies and statements.

The child after the hashtag

The videos from March were watched by millions of people. There was outrage, public discussion, demands for accountability and pressure on the schools involved. Then, as happens with many stories on social media, public attention gradually moved elsewhere. But the child in that video did not have the luxury of moving on at the same speed. For that child, the experience may continue long after the public has forgotten the footage. It may affect how they see themselves, how they relate to other children and whether they feel safe in school again.

This is why I believe we need to change the way we think about bullying in our schools. Our responsibility does not end when we identify the pupils responsible, impose sanctions or issue a statement. Those steps matter, but they are only part of the work. As parents, teachers and school leaders, we must be prepared to stay involved. We must keep asking how the child is doing, keep listening when they speak and keep checking whether the support we have promised is actually making a difference. Most importantly, we must make sure that children who have experienced bullying are not left to carry the consequences on their own.

The real measure of a school's response is not simply how quickly it deals with an incident or how well it manages public criticism. It is whether the child who was hurt can eventually return to learning, friendship and everyday school life with confidence and dignity. When the cameras stop and the hashtags disappear, that is when our commitment to the child matters most.

References

1. Channels Television. "Police Probe Viral Igbinedion School Assault Case." 15 March 2026. https://www.channelstv.com/2026/03/15/police-probe-viral-igbinedion-school-assault-case/

2. Aliu, Ozioruva. "Igbinedion Education Centre confirms bullying, expel students in viral video." Vanguard, 14 March 2026. https://www.vanguardngr.com/2026/03/school-confirms-bullying-expel-students-in-viral-video/

3. Olafioye, Olakunle; Emeadi, Agatha; Nwoke, Ngozi. "Bullying: Mental health experts dissect impact." The Sun Nigeria, 28 March 2026. https://thesun.ng/bullying-mental-health-experts-dissect-impact/

4. Olugbode, Michael. "Stakeholders Demand Urgent Action as Bullying in Nigerian Schools Linked to Mental Health Crisis, Drug Abuse Risks." THISDAY, 18 April 2026. https://www.thisdaylive.com/2026/04/18/stakeholders-demand-urgent-action-as-bullying-in-nigerian-schools-linked-to-mental-health-crisis-drug-abuse-risks/

5. Atabo, Angela. "Early intervention, stronger enforcement critical to curbing bullying in schools - Stakeholders." News Agency of Nigeria, 18 April 2026. https://nannews.ng/?p=317106