The Other Classroom: What Nigeria's Bullying Videos Ask of Parents

March 2026 brought Nigeria another set of images that no parent wants to see. At Igbinedion Education Centre in Benin City, older boarders were filmed assaulting a younger student. He was kicked, dragged and beaten while other students stood by. At around the same time, the videos from the earlier bullying case at Lead British International School in Abuja were circulating again, reminding families of the outrage that case had already caused. Across the country, schools were being asked difficult questions about whether their anti-bullying policies were real, whether children knew how to report what was happening to them, and whether those reporting systems could actually be trusted.

I have written about the schools. I have written about the authorities. I have written about the children who watched and did nothing. But there is another group of people who sit at the centre of these stories even when they are not in the videos: the parents. The parents of the child who was hurt, and the parents of the children who did the hurting.

What happened in March

The response from the school came quickly. In its statement, reported by Legit.ng, Igbinedion Education Centre said, "The behaviour shown in the video is very disturbing and represents a direct violation of the values and standards we uphold." It added, "Our school community will never tolerate this kind of behaviour." The students responsible were expelled.

The local member of the House of Representatives, Omosede Igbinedion, also spoke about the incident. She said, "I consider this incident extremely concerning," and added that "Any action that undermines these values must be strongly condemned."

But the Edo State Government went further, and that is where this story becomes especially important for parents. According to The Frontier, the government said the parents of the students involved would be prosecuted and directed the police to investigate. The state's Commissioner for Information, Kassim Afegbua, described what happened as "very unacceptable" and said, "It is a wake-up call to parents and also teachers." He also made another point that is difficult to ignore. The adults might never have found out at all, he suggested, "But for the fact that one of them videoed that incident and sent it out."

People may disagree about whether prosecuting parents is the right response. That is a separate debate. But the message behind it is hard to miss. Bullying cannot be treated as something that belongs only to schools. A child's behaviour does not begin at the school gate. It is shaped long before that, and home is one of the first places where those lessons are learned.

Where children learn it

Children do not arrive at boarding school with no history and no habits. They arrive carrying what they have watched, what they have heard, what they have been corrected for and what they have been allowed to get away with. A teacher, Mr David Egbuna, told The Sun, "We teach values, but sometimes, home environments contradict this."

A mother, Mrs Ayoka Fadaunsi, told the same newspaper about her toddler coming home crying and without her shoe because an older little boy had taken it. What troubled her was not only what the boy had done. It was that his mother apparently saw nothing wrong with it. "Most parents condone such manifestations in their children when they are very young," she said. Her concern was about what happens when those small behaviours are continually excused: "Imagine what the boy will grow up to become should his mother continue to indulge in such a manner."

That is the kind of story parents need to sit with, because cruelty rarely arrives fully formed at fifteen. The teenager who humiliates or beats a junior in a hostel was once a much smaller child learning what happens when he grabs, mocks, intimidates or hurts someone. Somewhere along the way, adults either challenged that behaviour or allowed it.

A school founder, Mr Orji Kanu Emmanuel, was direct about the responsibility some parents carry: "Yes, because some parents did not do their homework; they were busy chasing shadows."

The child who lives a double life

It would also be far too simple to assume that every child who bullies comes from a home where nobody cares. Some of these children are polite at home. Some are respectful with adults. Some are the children their parents would confidently describe as well behaved. That is precisely why the possibility can be so difficult for families to accept.

Adeyemi Samson Ajasa of the National Association of Nigerian Students told Leadership, "Peer influence is powerful, and some students live double lives, disciplined at home but disruptive in school." His advice to parents was practical: "Parents should engage widely, even with their children's peers, to get honest feedback." He added, "Behaviour always reveals itself, and proactive parents can identify and address issues before they escalate."

Parents naturally ask whether their child is safe. We should. But there is another question we need to be brave enough to ask as well: is my child making another child feel unsafe? That question is uncomfortable because it asks us to look beyond the version of our children that we know at home. It asks us to accept that they have lives, friendships, pressures and behaviours that we may not always see. Loving a child does not mean assuming they are incapable of causing harm. Sometimes love means being willing to hear something painful about them and dealing with it properly.

When your child is the one being hurt

For the parents of a bullied child, the incident does not end when the school day ends. The fear comes home. The withdrawal comes home. The anxiety comes home. A mother, Mrs Oluchi Eze, described what happened to her family in The Sun: "The trauma my child went through was heartbreaking. She became anxious and withdrawn after the experience." She also said that "schools must act swiftly and involve parents whenever a case of bullying is discovered."

The clinical psychologist Dr Charles Umeh explained that the damage can spread through the whole family. "Trauma is not only when one is a victim," he said. Some parents begin blaming themselves for failing to protect their child. Others become so frightened that they try to shield the child from every possible danger. Dr Umeh warned that "it leads to some parents becoming overprotective, which deprives a child of normal development." A father, Mr Kofi Mensah, expressed the need very simply: "Parents need counselling, too, to cope with the impact on their children."

We sometimes talk about bullying as though there is one injured child and everyone else simply carries on. Families carry it too. Parents replay what happened. They question what they missed. They wonder whether they chose the wrong school, trusted the wrong people or failed to notice the signs. Supporting the child matters, but in some cases the parents also need support so that their fear does not become another burden the child has to carry.

Home and school have to talk

This cannot become another argument about whether schools or parents are more to blame. Children lose when adults spend all their energy defending themselves.

The clinical and health psychologist Sanusi Faizu told Leadership, "Effective intervention requires alignment between home and school, as well as consistent communication." The teacher Isaac Moji said, "Children need to feel supported both at home and in school."

That means parents need schools that will tell them the truth, including when the truth is uncomfortable. Schools also need parents who will listen when concerns are raised instead of immediately assuming that their child is being unfairly accused.

A parent in Abuja, Theresa Christopher, gave perhaps the most important advice of all: "We must also teach children that supporting victims or reporting incidents is not betrayal but responsibility."

That lesson matters because bullying survives in silence. It survives when children are frightened of being called snitches. It survives when everyone knows what is happening but nobody wants to be the person who speaks. If we want children to report harm, we have to teach them from home that protecting someone who is being hurt is not disloyalty. It is courage.

What parents can do this term

In my work with schools and families, I have found that the most important things parents can do are often very ordinary. Talk to your child about school every day, but do not make every conversation about grades. Ask about friendships. Ask about the hostel. Ask who they spend time with, who is always alone, who people are afraid of, and whether there is anyone everyone laughs at.

Pay attention when something changes. A child who suddenly becomes quiet, stops eating properly, begins dreading Sunday evening or begs not to return after a holiday may be telling you something before they have found the words to say it directly.

Parents should also know what the school itself has promised to do. Ask to see the anti-bullying policy. Ask how a child makes a report, who receives that report, whether a student can speak up confidentially, and what happens after a complaint is made.

And then ask the harder questions about your own child. If a teacher calls to say that your son or daughter has hurt another student, do not begin by defending them. Listen. Ask what happened. Ask what other students saw. Ask your child difficult questions. You can love your child completely and still hold them accountable.

The psychologist Tunde Ogunsakin said it well: "Parents must also be involved, creating open communication channels with their children."

The Federal Government's anti-bullying campaign reminds us, in the words of the Universal Basic Education Commission's Rasaq Olajuwon, that "Bullying inflicts psychological, emotional and academic harm to students." Schools must carry their responsibility. They must supervise children properly, create safe reporting systems and act when something happens.

But the March videos reminded us of another truth. Long before a child enters a hostel or dormitory, that child has already spent years inside another classroom, and that classroom is home. It is where children first learn what happens when someone is weaker than they are. It is where they learn whether cruelty is funny, whether apologies matter, whether adults mean what they say about kindness, and whether hurting somebody carries consequences. And it is where cruelty can be stopped before it ever reaches a school corridor.

References

1. Ukanwa, Ezra. "Igbinedion School Takes Action Against Students Caught on Viral Video Bullying Another Student." Legit.ng, 14 March 2026. https://www.legit.ng/nigeria/1701165-igbinedion-school-takes-action-students-caught-viral-video-bullying-student

2. The Frontier. "Igbinedion school bullying: Police to charge parents of erring students to court, Edo Govt." 16 March 2026. https://thefrontierng.com/igbinedion-school-bullying-police-to-charge-parents-of-erring-students-to-court-edo-govt-video/

3. Tyohemba, Henry. "Terror In Classrooms: Inside Nigeria's School Bullying Menace." Leadership, 22 March 2026. https://leadership.ng/terror-in-classrooms-inside-nigerias-school-bullying-menace/

4. Olafioye, Olakunle, Agatha Emeadi and Ngozi Nwoke. "Bullying: Mental health experts dissect impact." The Sun, 28 March 2026. https://thesun.ng/bullying-mental-health-experts-dissect-impact/

5. Acheme, Jack. "Nigeria Steps Up Anti-Bullying Campaign." Voice of Nigeria, 23 July 2026. https://von.gov.ng/nigeria-steps-up-anti-bullying-campaign/